Personal Testimonial
Dear Kelly, I thank God for your ministry!!!
The Holy Spirit has led me to your website more than once... I am sorry to say it took a while for me to believe what you said was the truth and most of what i have been taught has been a big fat lie from the pit of hell!! My story is long but I feel the need to tell you ... I grew up in the Lutheran church, Missouri Synod. I was very involved with my church. My dad was the president of the board of elders and my mom taught sunday school. It was a tiny, 100 year old church. I was even the organist for a couple of years in my teens. However, I lost my mom to breast cancer when i was 16. I became very angry and rebellious instead of dealing with my grief because i didn't know how!!! anyway, i was away from the Lord, married a Lutheran pastor's son at 18 and moved away with him at 20. Didn't see much positive, Christ-like character in my father-in-law. He would drink all the time. He would have his scotch and water hid under a dishtowel while he was doing dishes if it was before noon. (as if we didn't notice) anyway, because of my rebellion my heart became darkened to the truth. It wasn't until I attended a small bible study with wonderful Godly women in a small town in illinois that i realized i never heard "I need to be born again!"" Well, as soon as i asked about it they asked me if i wanted to be and i said YESSSS!!! of course!! Why, after growing up in church, attend two separate confirmation classes had i not heard this message!!!
However, I still need to grow quite a bit. I was still living in rebellion. My first marriage ended after 8 years. I did get remarried to a very nice man 2 years later. Christ was not our priority at all. It wasn't until 9/11 that i realized how spiritually away from my Jesus I truly was... I was drinking every night myself during this time. It becamed a nightly habit to have my wine and watch my soaps on "soapnet", then passout... all that changed when a month later the doctor discovered i had a cyst the size of a football in my uterus... Thank you Jesus that it wasn't cancerous. I had a hysterectomy february of 2002. During that time I started to hunger a great deal for the Lord. Out of ignorance, i thought, "wow! there is a christian tv network i can watch 24 hours a day while i recover!! yay!! no more secular stuff for me!! (HA!!) I got sucked into the word of faith movement in a deep way. I couldn't wait to watch the copelands or marilyn hickey. I loved Joyce meyer!!
I am also a voracious reader of "Christian" books. at least i thought they were Christian!! I started questioning one book i read by mary baxter, a divine revelation of hell. in it she aludes to a pastor who was in hell for stealing money from his church members... I started questioning my view of salvation. Aren't we saved by faith alone? why is this pastor in hell if he was a true believer. Thus, my internet research began. I googled mary baxter and started to realized i might be listening to false spirits.. !!! I have also received the baptism of the Holy Spirit while watching a show!! I was so scared.. what if this is a false spirit i received!!!
The spritual battle for my soul really began.... i have gone to almost every church denomination there is: "willow creek" style, assembly of God, pentecostal, foursquare, fundamentalist baptist, back to lutheran, foursquare again and the cycle continues. I have read all the terrible things about these false prophets. It tears me up because on my journey i have met sincere, loving people who are more deceived than I was... The foursquare pastors personally knew 'brother hagin". I have approached them twice with the research i had done. all they would tell me was brother hagin never answered those questions. he just went by the bible, if you don't believe him it isn't his fault!!! I have been so torn up the past couple of years. I make a terrible witness to my hubby. I get so depressed and feel so hopeless sometimes. I am scared i will have a nervous breakdown soon if i don't stand strong on the truth.. I feel so confused now. I ran across david bay's website back in the fall. Thats when i started to question everything. I stopped attending the foursquare church... purchased a book of concord (luthers) talked with a Lutheran minister who told me if i don't believe that Christ's body and blood are "in with and under" the bread and wine that i am not a true christian... :< talked to a reformed pastor and asked him questions about the charismatic movement. i went back to the foursquare church for some unknown reason, ( i think its part of satan's plan to get me back under his fold) i am now back with one of those ladies from the original bible study i got saved in and am attending that church.
Thanks for reading all of this Kelly, i now want to tell you how the Holy Spirit bought me back to your site. I had purchased david bay's cutting edge seminar 2 tape. I was listening to him talk. He not only had me feeling so hopeless for this world, there was also absolutely no love in his voice. he literally yelled during the entire 7 hour audio. there was no prayer. he repeated himself twice. I don't know, something in my spirit wasn't right. I remembered listening to your radio broadcast when he was on last fall so i decided to tune you in today..... the very day you were talking about his dvd!!! wow!! I have learned so much... but i don't feel like i can share this info with anyone.... no one would believe me. they would just say, "now look at what this Jesus freak is saying!"
I want to ask you whom should i trust in the christian world??? what bible studies do you recommend??? it seems like everything i have purchased in the past few years is one big lie... what should i do about my charismatic background??? are gifts still around in this century or is it one big satanic hoax??? please help.... I also want to let you know i am praying for you because i know you must be under some severe persecution and attack.. thank you so much for opening my eyes.... In His Love, Denise
